£126 win, not much else. Happy birthday to my nigga Steve.

Sup faggots. So yeah not much has been happening at all recently. I've been playing some poker online, done okay on the cash games that's just about it no epic tourney wins to announce though! I deposited £10 earlier on bet 365 and hit zero with £3.50 on for £126 I didn't manage to screenshot the actual spin but I got a screenie of the spin but one after where I span the £16.50 remaining and withdrew the £110 for a cool £100 profit.

Here's a pic, peace out niggas <3

Tree fiddy on 0 bra

-Anonymous

A dull few days...

Sup you fake empty fucks. Absolutely nothing good to report, it's been a really dull boring few days. Especially due to the fact I have me £300 winnings locked up and frozen on some stupid fucking bull shit site and can't have back until I can send photographic ID into them which I don't have access to until god knows how long. I've also been having a few goes on roulette with no joy, all that keeps on happening is heart aching gut wrenching bullshit. For instance... I log on the other day to Ladbrokes Live Roulette to place £2 on the number 2 and £8 on the number 0. Anyway, I manage to place the £2 on 2 and then before I can lay a single chip down on zero the Lithuanian cunt dealer announces no more bets and the ball casually lands in 0 which I was just 1.5 seconds away from sticking £8 on. Now, that may sound like a one off but honestly that has happened to me at least 18 times in the last few months and even happened again yesterday when I was selecting my table and 0 had just popped which pissed me the fuck off because if I had just logged on a few minutes earlier instead of stuffing my fucking face with a foot long tuna from subway I'd be £288 (plus stake back) richer. Then to make matters 100x worse, I load up the same table and decide instead of sticking my usual £8 on zero as it had just been out I'd switch it around and stick £2 on zero and £8 on 2. Low and behold I'm messing around with a fucking jalapeno that's dangling off my chin spreading it's semen of chili sauce everywhere to notice the time left to place a bet is literally 3 seconds. AGAIN! before I can lay a single chip on the number 2 the dealer has already announced ''2 Black'' to the table, I mean come the fuck on?!?! Who the fuck does that happen too twice a year? Let alone twice in 2 days that shit constantly constantly fucking happens. to me FML! Also nothing to report on the poker front haven't been playing much just been chilling having the odd spin. I might go and play the live donkament at the casino tonight, see if I can ship it, if not I'm gonna stay in and play a tourny on stars.

Peace and love negros, Anonymous <3

Ship the nickles, 3rd in the 5K GTD on Pokerstars!

Sup ya'll, 7 hours of solid play, alot of luck and a nice 3rd place finish for $513! (£311'ish) Great win very happy, re-cooperated some of my losses and lifted my confidence. Really can't be arse holed writing paragraphs of how it all went down as I have been playing for 10 hours straight and have had enough caffeine to keep a staff room full of teachers awake so I'll let these couple of pics do the talking, enjoy.

I'm the one who came 3rd obvs.

That's alot of cheeseburgers...

-Anonymous <3

The £25 plate of chips and the £150 headache...

The scene is set, it was a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon and amongst the busy roads and the council flats there is a glimmer of hope of going to the casino to play a live donkament. The donkament in question was a £25 NLhold'em double chance tourney, the structure unknown to me at the time was absolute shit but we'll get to that later.

So my friend gets the day off work and my brother gets the chance to put his new sat nav through it's paces as we go along the M5 to Walsall casino. Now, this place has just been renovated and is looking the dogs bollox, great card room place looks lush everything is looking great the scene couldn't have been better. As I walk past the many new shiny roulette wheels I am repeating same mantra to myself over and over - ''Play the donkament, ship the donkament don't borrow money of your friend for roulette'' I felt composed and in control of my urge to hit the devils wheel.

We regged for the donkament and was told we also get a free meal, this was really good and put a smile on my face as I knew I'd most likely not be eating for the next week because I'm bound to degen all my money off on roulette. The choice of food was Chicken leg and chips, or scampi and chips. Now, many a man in my position would have crumbled at the knees with all this choice that's on offer, but me being a none meat eater I had to stick to the standard plate of chips with a few sachets of ketchup. Grub aside I take my seat to realise I've just paid £25 for a bowl of chips and the opportunity to sit next to a bunch of people who are clearly retarded, have learning difficulties or both. This one woman takes 5 minutes to sit down moaning about who's sitting where and telling people they can't pick and choose where they sit. WELL DUUURRRR OBVIOUSLY that's why we're all sat around scrunched up this corner whilst your dumb ass gets the bottom of the table all to yourself.

SO I get playing, things started well and I played my game etc but to be honest I was just so disappointed in the structure and how shit it was that I had already given up hope from the very first hand. I know most casinos have adopted this structure and I just wanna state now that it is absolutely fucking terrible, 15 minute blinds and the blinds double every level which is fucking ridiculous and stupid, you get to play 3 hands an hour live too with these dumb fucks so your chances of progressing through this field of retards are very slim.

Anyway I busted out of the donkament retard fest and this is where the fun began, I began lending money off my friend having a spin, losing, having a spin losing etc etc. When I'm spinning I have at least £5 on 0 and £5 on 2, all day these numbers just didn't fucking pop. Anyway a few spins later and I've already borrowed £55 and not hit a single number. My friend who I've borrowed the money off on the other hand started off with £1 and has won atleast £130 by this point, and theres me not being able to hit a single fucking number arrrrgrhhhh!!!

I have a £20 spin and a £30 spin and realise I'm not gonna hit fuck all and decided to call it quits, I'm £105 in debt to my friend and I think that being £130 down so far is bad enough until this happens....

I'm sitting there, I've been really upping the ante and putting £8 on 0 £6 on 2 etc etc all fucking day, and obviously I'm losing. My friend steps up, sticks £20 on and places his numbers, (bearing in mind now that this is the first spin I've missed in ages) The balls going round and starts to drop and it lands in no other than the number fucking 2 my head sank into my hands quicker than my shit sank in the gents after the horrific ''free'' (£25 plate) plate of chips. What a fucking joke that was, I then monkey bolloxed and borrowed more money for a final big spin convinced I'd hit it, which as you can guess I never so there you have it, completely shit day. £175 down in total and pretty fucking annoying that I could never really hit a decent number. I obviously hit a few shitty nums but nothing major and nothing to really talk about just a completely standard Sunday afternoon in my sick small stake degen life.

I came home with a smile on my face though, I really did have fun spinning my heart out on the wheel of broken dreams, you have to remember it's nothing to ever be upset about it's just paper. It can't hug you and tell you it loves you and you certainly can't eat it. It's just paper that's had aload of filthy hands on it with a picture of some ugly old german slag it means nothing.

Remember folks, it's just a ride.

-Anonymous

Terrible night.

Hi how are ya etc etc. Anyway, introduction over let's get straight to business. I'll start by saying FUCK YOU FULL TILT POKER. That off my chest I'll start with tonights story.

So basically I'm waiitng for some money to go into the bank, I'm itching to have a go on Fool Tilt and had in my head that I'll just deposit £10 and have a bash at a shitty tourney. I deposit £10 ($16.28) and see their's nothing decent on so I lose it on rush poker cash. I then deposit another £10 and play omaha rush cash. This time I do okay and eventually leave with $50, here's a key hand that got my dollars up.

Anyway after being happy with my $50 I played a sit n go, lost then took some money onto hold 'em rush, which started out great but just slowly became so fucking horrific and brutal I dare even talk about it. Basically I never lost a big pot but a series of smallish ones me flopping a set, them a flush draw and them making there flush etc. Just the usual bullshit nothing to cry about. Anyway, had $8.70 left and decided to flip it ( to those who don't know a flip is a pre arranged all in pre flop between you and another person, you just sit down and go all in no matter what cards you're dealt) Anyway, that turned out to be a load of fucking shit as you can see in the picture below.

Flipping heck

So anyway, poker fail over I did what any stupid cunt degen in my situation would do and that's deposit my last £50 on roulette to see if I can win anything. Now, before I show you the pics you're probably guessing that this failed just as miserabley as the poker did and well, you're right. What fuck's me off about this is, is the fact that I couldn't hit a number on roullette if you picked me up and threw me on the fucking wheel. Anyway, enjoy the screenies.

Great start, £15 spin lands in 11, fuck you 11

There's a screenie missing forgot to save it, but basically I lose the last spin and won on this spin £1 on 32 red

Momentum, just hit 32 can I now hit a couple of numbers so I can withdraw and get the fuck out of here??

Nope, 29 last £22 spin, result was 23 red.

And there you have it, aload of pog wash. Should never have deposited on the live roullette. My inner voice was screaming ''Don't do it you fucking moron!'' but my stupid fat degen fingers deposited the last of my shit. Anyway as I was writing this post I deposited another £10 and had a spin, the ball was in my area but landed in 6. Fuck you 6. I really think that's a sign to give up, but I'll never give up I'm straight up degen for life yo! See screenie below.

Fuck you 6 you black bastard.

Goodnight all, take care xxxx

-Anonymous

A mixed week

Sup cock lovers.

Okay to all 2 people reading this it's basiclaly been a mixed week. After final tabling the $11 knock out at fool tilt, I decided to play the ''Fifty Five'' ($55 Full Tilt tourney) Which was going well untill this hand happened.

 

Fuck you K/Q

This was just a ridiculous hand. Getting called in 2 spots too a huge raise by such marginal holdings is just such a shitter this early on in the tournament. They got it all in on the turn I obviously had to fold and then went out of the tournament the very next hand when I had A/J and flopped the ace and the nut flush draw but some pussy stain had A/Q which obviously fucking held up for him the gay bastard.

Anyway, with that over and in the past I took $15 onto rush poker $0.10/$0.25, left with $110 nothing great to take screenies off just standard luck boxing, flopping sets getting paid etc etc all though I did make a call for my last $31 with A/K ace high which I was pretty happy with :)!

I decided to play a $26 PLO (Pot limit omaha) tourney, 300 runners thought it'd be decent. Anyway my main aim was to ship this and I tried my best. I played really well in the beginning of this donkament and mid way stages, nothing great to screeny or talk about just the usual random crap that happens in such a donkament. It was down the the last 20 or so where I got real car dead and found it hard to try and open any pots or make any moves. Anyway I ended up ass clinging to the final table and managed to come 8th, see pic below

Ship them cheese burgers

 So that win took my account to $240. $20 to $240 in 2 nights aint too bad. I decided to play the remaining dollars making sure I had £100 GBP to withdraw ($165) which I did, which still hasn't reached the fucking bank fuck you full tilt!!!

So yeah, again no big wins but a step in the direction. This thing's pretty boring I know but I haven't been able to get to a casino to play live due to lack of fundage and full tilt not sending moneys to teh fucking bank!!

Anyway, I'll wrap it up there. Need to get slamming some serious roullette or hit the Sunday Million. Passport is due tomorrow so I should be able to make a pokerstars account and get depositing. Untill then, good luck all keep the dream alive and ship them cheese burgers!

-Anonymous

5th in the $11 knock out bounty on fool tilt poker

Sup crew. So after much agonising and donk raping I finally clocked up a decentish result at Fool Tilt. Obviously I shoulda shipped this donkament but it just wasn't meant to be (again!)

My new found best pal who also staked me the other night sent me a $20 stake to try and ship an epic donkament at Fool Tilt. Thing's didn't start out to well busting out of some $6.50 shitty 90 man SNG but after 4 hours and 56 minutes I managed to come 5th in this donkament which is fucking ridiculous as I was raping this tourny from the last 3 tables all the way to the final table and got unlucky to ship it. Here's the final hand I played and how I busted. 

Obviously they have kings every fucking time

Even though a 5th place finish is okay I still felt very dissapointed I never shipped 1st or atleast 2nd. Fucking gut wrenching to see me have QQ after hours of solid play and just knew I was gonna lose, I knew he had K/K but your fingers click the fucking mouse and you've called and your out in 5th. Fuck you fingers you fat stubby fucks fuck you.

So that's it, no screenshots of key hands as I was too much in the zone yesterday and didn't wanna do anything to break my focus lulz I really thought I was gonna ship the donkament but as ever victory eludes me.

So I have some dollars now to play something decent, I left my mate who staked me a message too see if he wants to let the stake ride and enter a $100+$10 tourny to try and ship it BIG if not I'll give him what he's owed and I'll play a medium stakes donkament and try and ship that.

So that's it. It's a step in the right direction but still not the win I crave. I can only hope and dream for next time.

Untill then, take care nigs

-Anonymous <3